I believe that children are the best teachers. I worked at MRU Kids this summer as a Magical Adventures camp counsellor and it is a summer I won’t soon forget because of all the things I learned thanks to a particular child by the name of Char.
A month into work, my confidence grew exponentially. I had managed to come up with tricks and tales, such as trolls and dragons, to keep the children quiet and listening in the hallways. You name it; I came up with every excuse as to why magical creatures were real. By the time a month went by, I was having fun and I knew what I was doing. Nothing could bring me down.
The first time I saw Char the first thing she did was, take her backpack off, throw it on the ground and run around the gym. I didn’t think much of it, the gym was a high-energy place and so I kept about my business.
As we rounded up the children into our group, my coworker, Olive, mentioned that Char had extreme autism, and due to unforeseen circumstances had to be moved into my group. Michelle had worked with Char before and promised help me out…“Oh and I’ll warn you, Rita,” she said, “Char has trigger words.” Michelle began listing off words and phrases, which was a death sentence if said to Char. I wrote them down feverishly, it was extensive and scary.
A month into work, my confidence grew exponentially. I had managed to come up with tricks and tales, such as trolls and dragons, to keep the children quiet and listening in the hallways. You name it; I came up with every excuse as to why magical creatures were real. By the time a month went by, I was having fun and I knew what I was doing. Nothing could bring me down.
The first time I saw Char the first thing she did was, take her backpack off, throw it on the ground and run around the gym. I didn’t think much of it, the gym was a high-energy place and so I kept about my business.
As we rounded up the children into our group, my coworker, Olive, mentioned that Char had extreme autism, and due to unforeseen circumstances had to be moved into my group. Michelle had worked with Char before and promised help me out…“Oh and I’ll warn you, Rita,” she said, “Char has trigger words.” Michelle began listing off words and phrases, which was a death sentence if said to Char. I wrote them down feverishly, it was extensive and scary.
I got more and more nervous. I had never dealt with this before.
I can’t list the number of times I made a mistake and said one of Chars trigger words. Each time ended in Char tearing at the front of her shirt, tears streaming down her face and her gnawing at the neckline. To often was I left dumbstruck by the massive, blood-curdling scream that echoed from her tiny throat. If I made a “mistake” no matter how many times I reassured her that I would not do it again she would repeatedly say “It was to late” or “I’m doomed! I’m going to die!” And if she did “die”, would not move from her spot.
I believe that, if you allow it, fear is crippling. The more mistakes I made the less confident I felt. It’s really scary when you see someone falling apart, you can tell that they’re upset, but can’t do anything because you don’t know how. As the first week went on, we allowed Char to do, basically, whatever she pleased, within limits because we were so scared of upsetting her. But as the weeks went on, she began to pick up on and take advantage of her clearly special treatment. She would refuse to carry her backpack, ask for too long of walks and ask for extra snacks just because they were chocolate. I believe that Char was that kindest, smartest, most observant child I ever had the pleasure meeting.
The longer Char was with our camp the more different she began to feel. She began to notice the other kids staring at her as she ran around the classroom or when she would scream and start crying at the top of her lungs. One of the more heart breaking experiences with Char was the day she came up to me and asked if I liked her. Before I could even respond she shouted “No” and stared at me with her big blue eyes. I was a bit shocked; she assumed I didn’t like her! She asked me again if I liked her and this time before she could respond I said in the most sincere/genuine voice I could muster that I liked her very much. She looked at me for a long time before she accepted it as the truth. I believe that everyone wants to feel accepted, listened to and understood. Char taught me how to be patient, not just with her but also with myself. I now believe and understand that understanding people takes time and patience.
Eventually, not only did I learn Char’s trigger words, I began to understand why Char did not like them said to her. Every one of her trigger words began to make sense to me and I realized that they frustrated me as much as they frustrated her. I realized this the day I accidentally interrupted Char. After interrupting her, through the tears she managed to tell me that I had stole her sentence therefor it wasn’t her thought anymore because I had stolen it. She then asked me how I would feel if someone interrupted me. That is when it hit me, I hate when people interrupt me because it is my thought or story and they have no right stealing it. I think I understood Char better that day and I let her know that I understood. The difference between Char and I was that I accepted when people did something that upset me and Char was honest about her feelings. Char had a different way of looking at the world and she reminded me that we don’t all think or learn in the same way.
I believe that the key to any successful relationship is communication. The way I learned how to deal with Char expertly was through communication with her and her parents. I learned to not just listen to Char, but hear what she was saying and to also never assume and always ask for her thoughts and opinions.
Char taught me …
…To be patient, listen and wait for people to finish their thought and not interrupt them
…To always say please and thank you
… To only say sorry when I mean it
… To be honest
… To stay confident no matter what life throws at you
She reminded me that it is more polite to say, “pardon me” rather then “what” because “what” meant you did not understand her.
… That “bad words” aren’t bad they are rude and hurt peoples feelings
…Communication and time builds stronger relationships
…Understand different ways of thinking and peoples reasoning
…Think on my feet, be imaginative and made me believe in magic again
… That hero’s come in all shapes and sizes because she would always rescue me from high places
… To be brave and take risks
… That no matter how special or gifted someone is they just want to be accepted and always know when they are not.
These are only a few of the things Char taught me. She is the reason I believe children are the greatest teachers, because she taught me more in two months then I could learn in a lifetime. I believe we should always be open to new ideas because they can come from the most unlikely of sources.
I can’t list the number of times I made a mistake and said one of Chars trigger words. Each time ended in Char tearing at the front of her shirt, tears streaming down her face and her gnawing at the neckline. To often was I left dumbstruck by the massive, blood-curdling scream that echoed from her tiny throat. If I made a “mistake” no matter how many times I reassured her that I would not do it again she would repeatedly say “It was to late” or “I’m doomed! I’m going to die!” And if she did “die”, would not move from her spot.
I believe that, if you allow it, fear is crippling. The more mistakes I made the less confident I felt. It’s really scary when you see someone falling apart, you can tell that they’re upset, but can’t do anything because you don’t know how. As the first week went on, we allowed Char to do, basically, whatever she pleased, within limits because we were so scared of upsetting her. But as the weeks went on, she began to pick up on and take advantage of her clearly special treatment. She would refuse to carry her backpack, ask for too long of walks and ask for extra snacks just because they were chocolate. I believe that Char was that kindest, smartest, most observant child I ever had the pleasure meeting.
The longer Char was with our camp the more different she began to feel. She began to notice the other kids staring at her as she ran around the classroom or when she would scream and start crying at the top of her lungs. One of the more heart breaking experiences with Char was the day she came up to me and asked if I liked her. Before I could even respond she shouted “No” and stared at me with her big blue eyes. I was a bit shocked; she assumed I didn’t like her! She asked me again if I liked her and this time before she could respond I said in the most sincere/genuine voice I could muster that I liked her very much. She looked at me for a long time before she accepted it as the truth. I believe that everyone wants to feel accepted, listened to and understood. Char taught me how to be patient, not just with her but also with myself. I now believe and understand that understanding people takes time and patience.
Eventually, not only did I learn Char’s trigger words, I began to understand why Char did not like them said to her. Every one of her trigger words began to make sense to me and I realized that they frustrated me as much as they frustrated her. I realized this the day I accidentally interrupted Char. After interrupting her, through the tears she managed to tell me that I had stole her sentence therefor it wasn’t her thought anymore because I had stolen it. She then asked me how I would feel if someone interrupted me. That is when it hit me, I hate when people interrupt me because it is my thought or story and they have no right stealing it. I think I understood Char better that day and I let her know that I understood. The difference between Char and I was that I accepted when people did something that upset me and Char was honest about her feelings. Char had a different way of looking at the world and she reminded me that we don’t all think or learn in the same way.
I believe that the key to any successful relationship is communication. The way I learned how to deal with Char expertly was through communication with her and her parents. I learned to not just listen to Char, but hear what she was saying and to also never assume and always ask for her thoughts and opinions.
Char taught me …
…To be patient, listen and wait for people to finish their thought and not interrupt them
…To always say please and thank you
… To only say sorry when I mean it
… To be honest
… To stay confident no matter what life throws at you
She reminded me that it is more polite to say, “pardon me” rather then “what” because “what” meant you did not understand her.
… That “bad words” aren’t bad they are rude and hurt peoples feelings
…Communication and time builds stronger relationships
…Understand different ways of thinking and peoples reasoning
…Think on my feet, be imaginative and made me believe in magic again
… That hero’s come in all shapes and sizes because she would always rescue me from high places
… To be brave and take risks
… That no matter how special or gifted someone is they just want to be accepted and always know when they are not.
These are only a few of the things Char taught me. She is the reason I believe children are the greatest teachers, because she taught me more in two months then I could learn in a lifetime. I believe we should always be open to new ideas because they can come from the most unlikely of sources.